I have almost always had what I consider a very great relationship with my father. I could give several reasons for this: I am the first girl, (was the only girl for ten years until my kid sister came to ‘share my shine’), I was pretty, brilliant, confidence and respectful (I still got all these traits #wink!). Or I could quit feeling entitled and confess to not knowing why the man just chose to love me!
Anyways, we had this unique bond. We still do. He has been my friend for as long as I can remember. He was the only one that understood how I could be extroverted and introverted at the same time. It did not feel odd telling him literally any and everything. Besides looking at the mirror while talking to myself (a frequent practice of mine), he was the one other person that I could share my thoughts with. It didn’t matter whether I ran the risk of being scolded; which also happened quite often. I would return to him again and again, sharing my random thoughts with the one person that I knew loved me without reservation.
This one time I was in a romantic relationship with someone and things began to go south. Our moments of laughter gradually waned. We were almost always at loggerheads. I decided to talk to the one person I had gotten accustomed to unburdening to. After much chit-chat, a lot of back and forth of him opening my eyes and heart to some of the things I had done wrong in that relationship, I resorted to never falling in love again. I told him that I would rather be alone than risk another broken heart. He stood up to leave. He just always knew when to pause or stop and I appreciated that in him. He got to my door, turned around and said: “we were created to love. It is better to love and not be loved in return than to risk not knowing what it means and feels to have loved.”
I was in no mood to ask what he meant by those unusual words. After a few days, I came to though. I then decided to probe further and he explained. When we love someone, we give a little of ourselves. It is like planting a seed to reap a tree and yield fruits, he said. When we refuse to love and live in perpetual paranoia and hate, we lose ourselves completely and wither with time. So we shouldn’t feel used nor feel like victims when we aren’t loved back, rather we should be grateful for the ability and strength to love.