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“Are You Okay?!”

April 20, 2020 by Boluwatiwi 6 Comments

One day, two of my kids got into a squabble. I reckoned it was the usual stuff; siblings fight over the darnest things! On and on they both went. At first, I wanted to interfere and possibly settle the ‘quanta’ but I just let them be jare.

As they argued, one yelled at the other? “Are you okay?” The younger one retorted: “Yes, I am very okay!”

Then there was silence.

I waited to see if things would escalate.

The silence lasted a few more minutes; say about three minutes.

Like water to a fire, his temper was doused. He focused on the crux of their argument, in much lower tones this time around.

She just stood and stared.

He walked away. Apparently weakened by her response or perhaps he had just about had it and had no more steam to let off.

Her response?! That was all it took to diffuse the tension.

Unknown to her, she was merely responding to a question which required an answer. She did not interpret the question as an insult to her sanity. I mean she took absolutely no offense at his question.

Did he intend to just ask a question or to actually insult her? I wondered.

In this scenario, nothing else besides an insult was all he intended to throw at her. Nevertheless, her interpretation, which led to her response, allowed her to argue without necessarily being livid.

I was reminded that I can decide to give an empowering meaning to what is thrown at me. I may not be able to determine how people will treat me but I can sure decide how to respond.

I rebuked them both and explained why it was unnecessary to fight. I explained that hurling insults at one another or at anyone was even worse and they should not do that again.

There you have it. Another parenting opportunity. I can only hope I handled that well.

My Thoughts:

  • Life and situations will test us from time to time.
  • Self-control is not as easy as it sounds. Oh yes, it’s not a walk in the park so we will drop the ball every once in a while and it is okay. Learning from the experience and determining to make better decisions is what is important.
  • Many a time, a conversation or argument can escalate and deteriorate very quickly. Be unafraid to walk away rather than giving in to the temptation to respond to avoid things getting ugly.
  • Understanding your triggers is important to help you prevent future occurrences of outbursts.
  • Avoid violence and be committed to living peacefully.

Can you begin to be a bit more intentional with your interpretations and by extension your actions?

You can do this! Start today!!!

Filed Under: Kidspiration, Thots Tagged With: attitude, blogging, communication, digital stories, family, inspirational writing, intentional, journaling, learning, nostalgicthots, personal blogging, story telling

Comments

  1. Ifeoluwa says

    April 22, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    Wao. This is revealing and very true. Looking forward to your next post.

    Reply
    • Boluwatiwi says

      April 23, 2020 at 4:34 am

      Thank you Ifeoluwa. I appreciate your feedback and I am glad that you got value from this piece.

      Reply
  2. Hope Chukwumah says

    April 23, 2020 at 1:30 am

    Are you okay???hmmm the respond to that yes I am okay is the perfect answer and is applaud to the sibling that responded that way and also a good lesson from your write up and judgement that we settle issues amicably and peacefully. Just good one word can correct things…lesson learnt. Well done dear

    Reply
    • Boluwatiwi says

      April 23, 2020 at 4:36 am

      I am glad that you picked up on the lessons the post was trying to convey.

      Thank you very much for your feedback.

      Reply
  3. Yemi says

    June 11, 2020 at 1:54 am

    These are wonderful piece and by far my favourite being “Are you ok” full of lesson , one I will never forget and find very inspiring is “ I may not be able to determine how people will treat me but I can sure decide how to respond”
    It’s has been my catch phrase ever ! God bless and keep inspiring

    Reply
    • Boluwatiwi says

      July 2, 2020 at 1:19 am

      Thank you Yemi. I appreciate your feedback. I am super thrilled that you got value. My apologies for not responding sooner. I must have missed it.

      Reply

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My name is Boluwatiwi.
I wear many hats, as do a lot of us. I function in several roles; howbeit in varying degrees. I am currently a daughter, sibling, wife, mother, aunt, friend, writer, singer and fashion entrepreneur who has been around for some decades. I had a rather thrilling teenage life...[Read More]

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