I was barely six years old when I observed that I was an atypical girl – I liked to play with toy cars, lego blocks, A-team, ride bicycles, I would wrestle with the boys and other stuff that was considered boyish at the time. Talk about stereotypes! Thankfully, I still loved to play with my Barbie – singing, acting and making up stories as I played. How I recall playing indigenous games, especially ten-ten. Anyways, I would sit outside whenever I could – watching the sunset and butterflies flutter around. Sometimes I was excited to be in the company of several people; at other times, I just wanted me some me-time.
As I grew older, I began to observe that not much had changed in some aspects of my life. Often times, in the company of a lot of people, I found myself been drawn to people that are unique in one way or the other. Some were obvious geniuses; a few were withdrawn and introverted, some had obvious character flaws, a few others, physical challenges. I would get into discussions with people that were a lot older or younger than me. In a short while, I was not just having conversations, I had been sucked into their lives – literally! Within minutes, I would know their hobbies, likes, dislikes, passions, anxieties, aches and fears. Not sure, they could say the same for me. There appeared to be a common thread of people who were not particularly happy with their current state of affairs. The problem was not what I knew, but what I did with what I knew. Often times, I would leave such gatherings with an assortment of emotions. I recall my mum one time being very angry with me, wondering why I was drawn to those kinds of people. It bothered her that I would not disconnect emotionally after my engagements with them. She often teased me about being a burden bearer and would warn me to avoid such interactions. How I often would weep with them who weep and mourn with them who mourn literally. She feared that I was taking a little too much emotionally and needed to detach.
In retrospect, I realise that my eagerness to listen and help is not untied to my purpose. For I educate, challenge and inspire positive change targeted at building bridges and restoration. Small wonder, I would take on burdens that were not originally mine with a resolution to finding lasting solutions.
Although my approach is unconventional and sometimes unpopular, I have since embraced who I am.
True, your past gives a vivid picture into your future, your essence and who you were, but as much as it offers, discovering yourself through it can help you being mindful of your limitations to make better way for a more beneficial future!!!
The past is for us to learn from to make our future better
I find it quite remarkable that you chose to maintain the core aspects of your younger adult personality. People usually start-off as being innocent-minded with caring and loving hearts, but grow-up into mean and treacherous adults due to the hurts they faced. It’s quite sad to see how a lot of people, without me being an exception to this generalization, are quick to repay an evil deed, but hesitant to remember several acts of kindness, not to mention doing them. As you rightly said, an holistic reflection on one’s self, the situational context, and in addition the person/persons being helped, should be considered so that your attempt to bless will not be misread or re-payed with curses and strife.