Nostalgic Thots

a chronicle of true tales

HAND-ME-DOWNS

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One of my very close friends (Fatima) gave birth to a baby girl about two months just before we welcomed our very own baby girl (Eniola). They were both very adorable cuties by the way. I even bet they may have literally been born at about the same time, had my friend’s princess (Riskiah) not come earlier than anticipated. Within a few months, Riskiah was a lot bigger than Eniola.

One day, I went shopping for clothes for Eniola. Oh my, so many lovely dresses, with barely enough money to buy them all! I had to make a quick stop at Fatima’s before getting home. (ok, may be it was a not-so-quick-stop). Anyways, among other things, I told her about how disappointed I was at the fact that I couldn’t buy more of the very many cute dresses that I saw at the children’s supermarket. While I was still talking, she stood up, reached for an already packed bag of some of Riskiah’s used clothes and gave them to me. “I hope you don’t mind”, she said. “Oh no, I don’t”, I responded. “Why should I?” I thought to myself. I said thank you and quickly left for home. As soon as I got home, I looked through my stash, with a deep sense of satisfaction and gratitude. When my hubby got back home, I showed him all that I had just bought as well as the things that Fatima had given Eniola. He barely let out a grin, as he wasn’t happy that I had collected hand-me-downs for his precious little one. I kind of understood his viewpoint. I apologized and explained that I took them because I saw them as a gift which should be appreciated. 

A few months down the line, I had packed a few bags of clothing, toys and food items to take to an orphanage. Before my scheduled visit, I noticed a woman and a little girl begging at the entrance gate of the estate, where I lived. I went home and took a few of the pre-packed clothes, some of my own clothes and food to give to this woman. As I handed the items with some money to her, she barely looked up. She immediately looked through the things, took the money and food. What she did next shocked me. She threw the clothes on the floor and hissed. Besides being stunned, I was deeply hurt.

That experience left me somewhat sore and got me thinking. Did I do something wrong? Did I go about this the wrong way?

Reflections

  • As humans, we are all so different, yet strangely the same, for there exists a common thread – we all love, hurt, have dreams, needs and expectations, have blood running through our veins etc, yet the content of our hearts, details and expressions of these dreams, love, hurt and expectations differ.
  • We are largely a product of our environment and upbringing; not totally though, so we are not as handicapped as we may prefer to believe. 
  • The choices we make per time are wholly ours. It is therefore our prerogative to be somewhat intentional with those choices. 
  • It is okay to communicate how you feel and what you want; in fact you have a right to do so. How you go about communicating matters though. It is expedient to do so gracefully. Often times, people do not remember in detail what you said or did, but how it made them feel.
  • As a man thinks in his heart, so he is. If you think you are blessed, you are! If you think you are disadvantaged, you are!
  • Sometimes, it does not matter what your motives or intentions are if your action sucks. After all, people see your actions not intentions. Do your best to allow them align – what advantage is there if your good, is evil spoken of. 

Comments

  1. Ufedo says

    I do not mind when family and friends give me hand me downs… In fact I think they trust me that’s why they are comfortable enough to give me things like that and I give like that too believing they are seeds I sow.

    Reply

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