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The psychology of praise

April 11, 2020 by Boluwatiwi 1 Comment

Mealtimes have increasingly become a task for several reasons. The unavailability of a wide range of foodstuff/groceries, funds and time, attempt to offer some explanation for this. Coupled with the fact that I have a unique team of picky eaters. Thankfully, they’ve gotten better over the years but there is so much more room for improvement. I’m working on that.

Today, I literally agonized over what to make for lunch. I went through my ‘menu arsenal’ and still fell short. My friend made a couple of interesting suggestions and my husband pitched in.  He thought this lock-down was an opportunity to introduce certain foods that our kids would not ordinarily eat. We had repeatedly had to explain why a stay-at-home, no-visiting, no-friends-over rule, was necessary in light of the Coronavirus pandemic. Despite allowing them more TV time than usual, they had played chess, monopoly, scrabble, snake & ladders, and many other novel inventions of their own yet they wanted something more. My husband believed that this would make them more open to trying new things; since they sought for some excitement cum adventure.

We came up with a not-too-long list of foods that our own parents gave us growing up. Heck! The last time I ate some of the foods on that list was when I was a teenager, twenty-something years ago!

We decided to make rice and beans porridge (with palm oil, crayfish and all the other intricate ingredients that make for a local delicacy).

I got right to work. Put my heart into it.

It took about two hours to prepare.

I served my kids and watched for their reactions.

Of course, they had a couple of questions about the food – the look, the blend, the combination, the smell. I answered them all.

Then they ate it all up. Everyone finished their serving. My youngest son even had a second helping. Then he came and stood right in front of me, with a somewhat stern look and said: “Mummy, why are your foods always so tasty?” I smirked and replied: “because I put a lot of love into it”. He smiled and went back to his food. I took that as a compliment.

Darn! It felt good! My face almost became stiff from my wide smile.

That was not the first time he was giving me a compliment but that one stood out for me.

My husband looked at me and said: “See?! And to think that you were afraid of giving them something new”. I smiled even more.

 

My Reflections:

  • Praise is first about recognition, then appreciation or admiration and then possibly reaffirmation.
  • It is an important learning tool; especially for feedback and assessment.
  • Whether for ability, effort or results, praise can be wielded as a useful and powerful instrument.
  • Praise is not flattery or sycophancy. For while praise leaves you with a healthy positive vibe, flattery leads you down a negative self-absorbing, selfish and often destructive path. We should not long for praises from others.
  • Praise should be sincere, fluid and not forced. The psychology of praise is about gratitude, wellbeing, affection and much more.
  • As it is with children, adults too need to be praised. Humans of all ages require appreciation.
  • Praise yourself!
  • We should be purposeful about giving praise to others too.

As we are reminded of the greatest sacrifice ever made over two thousand years ago, let us with the presence of mind and heart, give endless praise to God for His numerous mercies and grace.

Filed Under: Kidspiration, Thots Tagged With: attitude, blogging, children, coronavirus, covid19, dealing with coronavirus lockdown, digital stories, family, gratitude, inspirational writing, intentional, journaling, nostalgicthots, writing

Comments

  1. Kenneth says

    April 26, 2020 at 8:42 pm

    Beautiful story Bolu and even more beautifully written.

    Reply

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My name is Boluwatiwi.
I wear many hats, as do a lot of us. I function in several roles; howbeit in varying degrees. I am currently a daughter, sibling, wife, mother, aunt, friend, writer, singer and fashion entrepreneur who has been around for some decades. I had a rather thrilling teenage life...[Read More]

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